Procrastination
by SiriusGuiltyPleasure
Summary: Lily Evans always knows exactly what to do, in every situation. When a situation arises that she doesn't understand, what will she do? Well take her turn at the tried and true method of procrastinating, of course. JPLE One Shot.


Procrastination

I opened my eyes and stared at him in horror. I shouldn't be able to see him so clearly right now, I shouldn't be seeing the emotion in his eyes right now, and I most definitely should not have kissed him.

He looked back at me, wondrous surprise obvious on his features. "Lily, what just happened? Why did you just kiss me?"

I continued to stare at him, petrified; I couldn't answer him, I didn't know myself.

Finally, he registered my expression, my horror. His face collapsed. "Oh. I see. Well, next time, Evans, I would prefer you didn't. Kiss me, that is."

I couldn't handle this anymore. The raw emotion on his face, the electricity that had sprung into being between us; it was too much. Without another word, I wheeled away from him. When I turned at the end of the corridor, I started running, running away from all the emotions I was leaving behind. I didn't stop until I reached my dormitory, collapsing on my bed. My dormmates were used to my behavior by now, and could guess the cause.

"How was patrol with James?" Marlene asked softly.

I couldn't answer. I still hadn't processed it myself. I must've shaken my head or something, something they took for an answer to the question.

"That bad, huh?"

I knew I had to tell them eventually. Potter wouldn't keep it to himself. He was probably sharing with his friends right now. I sat up and faced them. The expression on my face must've been different, not surprisingly.

"Lily, what's wrong? What happened?"

_Lily, what just happened?_ I could hear him asking me, just like they are now. I took a deep breath. "I just kissed James Potter."

The response in the room, I wouldn't have guessed. They all burst into cheers. When I heard "It's about bloody time", I retreated back to my pillow, trying to block out their noise.

They finally coaxed my out from under my pillow again. By coaxed, I really mean they took turns threatening my until I was left with no choice.

"I don't get it," Alice said, "What's the big deal? James has been after you for years and you finally feel the same way and made all his dreams come true. You should be thrilled."

I saw his face crumpling again in my mind. "The big deal, Alice, is that I don't feel the same. The kiss was a huge mistake."

You could've heard a pin drop in our dormitory. "Yo.. You don't fancy him?"

The disbelief in their voices, like they couldn't believe someone could not like the perfect James Potter, was infuriating.

"Are you kidding?" I asked scathingly, "Me? Fancy James Potter? Where've you been all these years?"

"But… We thought that with you two being Heads together and all.. Well, we figured you were getting along and were actually friends, so…"

I couldn't handle this conversation anymore. "Me? Friends with Potter? Don't insult my intelligence. Now, if you please, I'd like to go to bed."

Startled, they returned to their own beds. I snapped my hangings shut and lay awake for a long time, pretending to be asleep. Finally, when I thought all of the girls would be asleep, I heard Marlene's soft voice.

"If you don't like him, Lily, then why'd you kiss him?"

I froze. I couldn't answer that. I didn't want to think about that. I couldn't think about that. How could she ask that?

Then, I heard her soft snores join the other girls. She hadn't waited for an answer. Neither would I; I started counting sheep and refused to stop until it worked.

* * *

Waking up the next morning was torture. I felt like I hadn't gotten a drop of sleep. Luckily, it was the weekend and I didn't have to see Potter in any classes. Because I had decided that would be the best way to deal with this; just avoid him and force him to forget all about that stupid kiss.

Having reaffirmed this, I went down to breakfast. I was, as always, one of the first people down there. Knowing Potter wouldn't show for a while, I sank down and started eating. I was determined not to think about stupid James, that stupid kiss, or Marlene's stupid question. I would think about it later, when I felt like dealing with it. Just not now.

Looking up from my plate, I was startled to see the Great Hall was already starting to fill up. I sprang out of my seat, heading for the door. I had to get out of there fast, before - Too late! There he was, walking into the Great Hall surrounded by his friends. I couldn't see him right now. I wasn't ready to deal with him yet. I ducked my head, hoping to get past him without notice.

There! Almost free! Except, no, Sirius Black decided he must ruin my life. "Hey, Evans, how are you doing? You look awful this morning. Really, just horrible. It must be the complete lack of heart. You look just like a robot; heartless."

I looked up at him with horror. Potter told him, like I knew he would. I flashed a look at Potter, ready to glare at him. And then, I couldn't. His was doing that heartbreaking crumpled look again. Like somebody had murdered his favorite puppy right in front of him. And I couldn't blame Sirius for hating me anymore. I just ducked my head and retreated to safety in the library. The smell of books instantly calmed me, and under the watchful glare of Madame Pince, I forgot James amidst my Potions essay.

After a while of working, I looked at my watch and was surprised to see that more time had passed than I'd thought. I had missed lunch. As if on cure, my stomach growled. Madame Pince glared at me with extra intensity, no doubt for being 'too loud'. Sighing, I packed up my book bag and headed back to the dormitory.

In the Common Room, all the stuff I'd forgotten about James came rushing back to me, as I saw him sitting in his normal spot with his friends. Instead of being the center of the group, he was, for once, quiet. I paused at the foot of the stairs to look back at him, my fatal mistake. He happened to look up from his staring contest with the fireplace just then, and our eyes instantly caught. I could still read all of the emotions in his eyes. I wasn't prepared for what I saw there; turning, I fled up the stairs.

I stayed in the dormitory for hours, subsisting on the snacks the girls and I had stashed away. When the others came in for bed, I pretended I was already asleep, to avoid more questions. When they actually fell asleep, I crept out of the dormitory and headed to the kitchens, hungry for real food. Thanking the house elves as they gave me some leftovers from dinner, I stole back up to the Common Room. Not ready to go back upstairs and go to bed, I sat and stared into the fire, until a noise from the boys' dormitories startled me out of my reverie. Before I could react, James Potter was stumbling down the stairs. When he saw me, he froze.

"Lily?" He breathed.

I was frozen too, powerless to move.

He collapsed into a chair. "I couldn't, er, sleep. I, uh, thought I'd have the Common Room to myself."

Still staring at him, I could tell he hadn't slept. He looked exhausted. I probably didn't look any better. Then I realized what he had said, about having the room to himself. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll just, er, go, then."

"Wait, Lily, you don't have to go. Can't we both just sit here?"

I kept staring at him; he wasn't looking at me. His gaze was locked on the fire. "Sure, I guess."

So I sat back down. And we both just sat there. Neither of us talking, both too afraid to look at the other. It was getting too much. Time was standing still, there was so much unsaid between us, and the electricity I'd discovered last night was making this extremely uncomfortable. I was just about to leave when I heard his voice, speaking softly.

"Why have you been avoiding me all day?"

I couldn't look at him. "You know why."

He didn't answer. Finally glancing at him, I saw, even in the dim light, the pain in his eyes. I knew I should leave. I was about to, really, when his glanced up and caught mine. I couldn't move.

"Why'd you do it?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

I shook my head; I still didn't know.

"Why would you kiss me, if you didn't even like me? If you were going to run from me?"

I was frozen, incapable of even shaking my head.

"Why did you do this to me?" He demanded.

Finally, I burst. "I don't know! I don't know, I don't know, but I'm so sorry. I'm so terribly sorry."

"You don't know, but you're sorry. Sorry for kissing me, or for breaking my heart after?"

I'm so stupid; I already knew looking at him would do me no good. But I wasn't prepared for what I saw in his eyes. Pain, hurt, yes, but tears? I didn't think he was this serious. I always thought I was just a game to him, a challenge to win. I didn't think he really cared. But he so very clearly did. It was so terribly obvious now. Everyone else had seen it; I was the blind one. Not anymore.

The confusion and anger drained out of me. I stepped towards him. He watched me, confusion joining the array of emotions in his eyes. I kept walking towards him, until I was as close as I was yesterday. The difference was, this time I didn't run. This time, I wasn't confused. Looking into his eyes, I knew I should never have run yesterday.

"Because, James Potter, you were right. Alice was right, Marlene was right, hell, everyone but me probably knew. The thing is, you were all right. I do like you. I think it's been kind of growing on me. And now I know for sure. And well, apparently I like you rather a lot."

And from where I was standing, so close, I could see the effect my words were having. I watched the pain leave his eyes, replaced by joyful disbelief. Like he couldn't believe his luck, after all these years. Slowly, he leaned closer to me, very slowly. Too slowly. He hesitated, looking at me as if to make sure I wasn't frozen with horror this time. Rolling my eyes, I leaned in the rest of the way, bringing our lips fully together.

Now, I no longer saw the emotion in his eyes, but felt it in his entire body, his arms coming to wrap me completely in his arms. My hands went to entangle themselves in his hair. That newly found electricity exploded, lighting us on fire, leaving us glowing.

Finally, we broke apart. A ridiculously large grin was on his face. I couldn't help laughing at him. "James, you look ridiculous!" Still grinning, he said, "Well, forgive me if I look like a madman after a certain Lily Evans kisses me like that."

I smiled at him. "Fine. I forgive you. If you'll stop smiling like that, you nutter."

His grin grew. "Good idea. My lips have much better things to do."

I could feel the smile on his lips even when we kissed.

* * *

**So, this is kind of random. I wrote the idea forever ago (like years), then today I just had this random urge to write and found this idea, so I wrote it. I realize that this title doesn't really make sense, because I cut out the scene that explained it. I didn't really cut it out, so much as this story ended up going in a much more emotionally loaded direction than I'd predicted and so the explanation didn't really fit as well. Speaking of this being more emotionally charged, that's really not my forte in writing, as a lot of people think that I'm pretty much a robot myself, so let me know if I got this right. I didn't have much to base it off of, other than thinking that James and Lily are the most adorable couple on the planet in my head. **

**Also, I could pretty easily write this same story from James' POV if y'all wanted. I'd probably just add it on as a second chapter to this. If y'all are interested, let me know before this strange creative flow disappears and I don't write for another year haha. **

**-Nikky  
**


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